Hi reader/s (if any).
What up? Having a good time?
Anyway, that's not why I'm here, so I won't dwell on it (not that I don't care, but... well actually I kind of don't).
I'm gonna lay it down for y'all (not that I'm gonna say much that is groundbreaking, because I probably won't). I still don't know where my life is going and it kind of annoys me. Y'know? I want the world and I want it now, I'm sick of all my kicks, I'm sick of all the stiffs, sick of all the dips, and all those other lyrics suggesting things about things.
The big news is that I was in the running for a job in Sydney. A real full-time job. Something that would have given me the stability I so desire currently. I put my life on hold in case I got it, because they wanted someone right away. I told people I couldn't do things, or just said I'll let you know when I know (which I hate to do, hence wanting the stability in the first place).
I didn't get the job. I don't care so much about that. My issue was that I let them know that I needed to know ASAP to let people know if I was available to do things for them or not. I called on multiple occasions and couldn't get a straight response from anyone. I got told I would be called back, and it never happened (hence calling and asking on multiple occasions).
I was prepared to pack up my life and leave with a few days notice, and they didn't have the courtesy to give me even those few days.
On top of all that, I had an accident on the road two Fridays ago, which although minor (I hit the back of a ute at maybe 5-10km/h - he stopped dead after realising he was about to head the wrong way into a one way street), has put repairs out of practical monetary reach. So the holiday money I saved up is automatically needed to put aside for expensive repairs or new car (repairs are really expensive).
Now I have to risk getting a yellow sticker every time I drive, and I won't have enough money to get a reliable car for some time (weeks, months?).
Anyway, I'm still here, and still freelancing to the point where I'm not earning enough to get off Centrelink but dealing with these various projects makes it difficult to deal with what I need to do to keep getting my benefits (which I blame 100% on the fact that my career path isn't catered for by Employment Services).
In other news, I have been in a creative lull of late. It largely came down to having too much shit to do for other people. The minute I got any time free I had some good musical experiences, writing some decent tunes that I'm still fairly happy with (although not finished with). As I appear to be busy again, I don't think I'll get much out for a while. I started trying to force myself to write various things, but I haven't been very successful.
Now, the philosophical bit:
All of this probably means nothing, as in the grand scheme of things I have time on my side.
That also means nothing, because I still have to think about the immediate.
What do I do?
Save my $700 to grow to $3,000 and buy a decent car?
Save all the money for a move and fresh start?
Save all the money for an item I need (new bass amp/drum kit/computer/1000 other things)?
Throw caution to the wind and have a good holiday season and start again next year?
Other (please specify)?
Cool, whatevs.
The trash receptacle of the damned.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
OK, here's the scoop
This is a combination heart to computer/catch-up/whatever else, despite knowing that nobody reads this.
So, we start at the beginning (call me old-fashioned).
I am getting sick of a number if things, as follows:
1. The way this country is run. Not from a "Durr, the Labour Party is poopoo" perspective, from a "The whole system is fucked and I hate the only two parties that have any say, and the only moderation is the independents who come from retarded electorates, and are largely retarded themselves" perspective.
I hate the amount of formality is involved in even getting a response from a decision-maker, and this shitty system flows through everything run by the government. Faceless middle-management tuck themselves away in the corner, which leaves you complaining to the pleb workers who don't care, or the politicians, who don't care and don't have time to hear you in the first place.
What am I gonna do? One day when I find someone rich and crazy enough to do what I tell them I'll actually start a political party and pay for national adspace and try (I know it will probably be in vein) to effect some reform or change.
2. I'm sick of living at home. Honestly, I'd actually like to live in a place literally on my own for a while. Just have a solo bachelor pad where I can do what I want and just be responsible for myself. That would be really nice. I think that will never happen. I would happily settle for a sharehouse, but I need money, and for that I need a job.
3. I'm sick of being overlooked. It doesn't do a guy's confidence much good when all stimuli he receives indicates he is good at things, and then the results of these things get him nowhere. ECU, I'm looking at you for starters.
Sure, I probably wouldn't enjoy a job at ECU as much as working in the real world, but it would be nice to be asked. It kind of seems like the 'chosen one' policy of ECU's School of Communications has skipped my year but employed the 'respected' students of years past and future. I can tell you I probably did more helping of others than any of those people, who were busy doing their assignments properly in their kick-ass groups (I am jealous that the stars aligned for these people, but I also understand that it is reasonable to actually do your own work well and get good grades).
I kind of think that I gained alot more experience in troubleshooting and being a make-shift guru, but it's meant absolutely nothing in the job market. You can tell people you're good at solving problems until the cows come home, but unless you've had a paid job for 2 years that can verify that for you then you're stuck in my position.
Anyway, my point being that I have plenty of skills, but no proof of said skills. Therefore I am a risk to employers and will never get a job doing anything I want to do (which largely encompasses what I've spend most of my adult life training specifically for - go figure).
4. I'm sick of being unemployed. This is largely down to the last point. Also I blame Centrelink. Surely by now they've noticed that creative career-paths are different to being an office-jockey, fry-hand, or brickie. Surely they recognise that the creative industries are also legitimate forms of employment. Ergo it makes sense to FUCKING HELP GRADUATES OF MEDIA AND THE ARTS INSTEAD OF TELLING THEM TO TAKE THE FIRST SHIT-KICKER JOB THAT COMES AROUND AND SPEND HALF OF THEIR LIFE WASTING THEIR SKILLS UNTIL THOSE SKILLS ARE SUPERSEDED!
Why is it that if I take a volunteer position (that has a direct job prospect linked to it), I get no support, whatsoever? Somebody needs to realise the harsh reality that working for free is the way to get a job in the arts (especially film and sound), and those that get a job straight out of (or during) study are flukes or chance encounters.
Yes, I know I should have done that shit-kicker job in high school so I could actually physically force myself to apply for it in later life when I need the money, but you can't change me now, so you might as well learn to deal with me.
5. I'm sick of being the friend. To the ladies, at least. Anybody I'm interested in just ends up becoming a good friend (or a distant acquaintance). I'm the guy friend, instead of the boyfriend. That's my fault, mostly. This is for two reasons. I'm a shy bastard who takes too damn long to do anything, and also I'm afraid of becoming one of those pussy chasing players. Seriously.
6. I'm sick of censoring myself for fear of the following - Hurting a loved-one's feelings, being hated, being vulnerable. I will probably continue this practice, though, no matter how much I say I won't. I may slowly become more honest.
7. I'm sick of not knowing what tomorrow brings. I want to at least have some form of regular schedule somewhere. Some certainty in my life that goes beyond 'on this day you will most likely breathe, eat, shit, piss, sleep, and imbibe alcohol'. You know what, give me an office-monkey job, just don't make me apply for it.
So that about covers it.
Basically, the aim for the near future is to get a job, move out of home, man up, and possibly explode Canberra.
So, we start at the beginning (call me old-fashioned).
I am getting sick of a number if things, as follows:
1. The way this country is run. Not from a "Durr, the Labour Party is poopoo" perspective, from a "The whole system is fucked and I hate the only two parties that have any say, and the only moderation is the independents who come from retarded electorates, and are largely retarded themselves" perspective.
I hate the amount of formality is involved in even getting a response from a decision-maker, and this shitty system flows through everything run by the government. Faceless middle-management tuck themselves away in the corner, which leaves you complaining to the pleb workers who don't care, or the politicians, who don't care and don't have time to hear you in the first place.
What am I gonna do? One day when I find someone rich and crazy enough to do what I tell them I'll actually start a political party and pay for national adspace and try (I know it will probably be in vein) to effect some reform or change.
2. I'm sick of living at home. Honestly, I'd actually like to live in a place literally on my own for a while. Just have a solo bachelor pad where I can do what I want and just be responsible for myself. That would be really nice. I think that will never happen. I would happily settle for a sharehouse, but I need money, and for that I need a job.
3. I'm sick of being overlooked. It doesn't do a guy's confidence much good when all stimuli he receives indicates he is good at things, and then the results of these things get him nowhere. ECU, I'm looking at you for starters.
Sure, I probably wouldn't enjoy a job at ECU as much as working in the real world, but it would be nice to be asked. It kind of seems like the 'chosen one' policy of ECU's School of Communications has skipped my year but employed the 'respected' students of years past and future. I can tell you I probably did more helping of others than any of those people, who were busy doing their assignments properly in their kick-ass groups (I am jealous that the stars aligned for these people, but I also understand that it is reasonable to actually do your own work well and get good grades).
I kind of think that I gained alot more experience in troubleshooting and being a make-shift guru, but it's meant absolutely nothing in the job market. You can tell people you're good at solving problems until the cows come home, but unless you've had a paid job for 2 years that can verify that for you then you're stuck in my position.
Anyway, my point being that I have plenty of skills, but no proof of said skills. Therefore I am a risk to employers and will never get a job doing anything I want to do (which largely encompasses what I've spend most of my adult life training specifically for - go figure).
4. I'm sick of being unemployed. This is largely down to the last point. Also I blame Centrelink. Surely by now they've noticed that creative career-paths are different to being an office-jockey, fry-hand, or brickie. Surely they recognise that the creative industries are also legitimate forms of employment. Ergo it makes sense to FUCKING HELP GRADUATES OF MEDIA AND THE ARTS INSTEAD OF TELLING THEM TO TAKE THE FIRST SHIT-KICKER JOB THAT COMES AROUND AND SPEND HALF OF THEIR LIFE WASTING THEIR SKILLS UNTIL THOSE SKILLS ARE SUPERSEDED!
Why is it that if I take a volunteer position (that has a direct job prospect linked to it), I get no support, whatsoever? Somebody needs to realise the harsh reality that working for free is the way to get a job in the arts (especially film and sound), and those that get a job straight out of (or during) study are flukes or chance encounters.
Yes, I know I should have done that shit-kicker job in high school so I could actually physically force myself to apply for it in later life when I need the money, but you can't change me now, so you might as well learn to deal with me.
5. I'm sick of being the friend. To the ladies, at least. Anybody I'm interested in just ends up becoming a good friend (or a distant acquaintance). I'm the guy friend, instead of the boyfriend. That's my fault, mostly. This is for two reasons. I'm a shy bastard who takes too damn long to do anything, and also I'm afraid of becoming one of those pussy chasing players. Seriously.
6. I'm sick of censoring myself for fear of the following - Hurting a loved-one's feelings, being hated, being vulnerable. I will probably continue this practice, though, no matter how much I say I won't. I may slowly become more honest.
7. I'm sick of not knowing what tomorrow brings. I want to at least have some form of regular schedule somewhere. Some certainty in my life that goes beyond 'on this day you will most likely breathe, eat, shit, piss, sleep, and imbibe alcohol'. You know what, give me an office-monkey job, just don't make me apply for it.
So that about covers it.
Basically, the aim for the near future is to get a job, move out of home, man up, and possibly explode Canberra.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
I'm not sure what just happened.
So, I just started volunteering at the local community tv station. I shall explain how this is both odd and potentially beneficial.
Firstly, I must express how surprised I am at how low the quality of the station's in-house facilities are. Studio isn't sound-proofed, dodgy carpet not fitted to the floor that is in shots. No calibration gear on vision or sound. No compressors on inputs or general program limiter. Plus many other things.
I also feel odd being the only one who knows anything about sound. This actually puts me at an advantage for a permanent paid position. I don't know how to feel about this. Is it a good career move? As a head of sound having to accept sub-par results due to lack of gear will I be shunned?
On the flip side, there are some upgrades coming, and my knowledge could maybe improve the station and bring me kudos for my deeds.
Or, as is the norm, nothing happens.
Firstly, I must express how surprised I am at how low the quality of the station's in-house facilities are. Studio isn't sound-proofed, dodgy carpet not fitted to the floor that is in shots. No calibration gear on vision or sound. No compressors on inputs or general program limiter. Plus many other things.
I also feel odd being the only one who knows anything about sound. This actually puts me at an advantage for a permanent paid position. I don't know how to feel about this. Is it a good career move? As a head of sound having to accept sub-par results due to lack of gear will I be shunned?
On the flip side, there are some upgrades coming, and my knowledge could maybe improve the station and bring me kudos for my deeds.
Or, as is the norm, nothing happens.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Over two months have passed...
... And almost nothing has happened. Yep. Still in exactly the same situation I was in the last blog. Still doing the following:
Looking for a decent job.
Trying to get people to actually come to Energy Commission shows.
Working on film projects for free.
Not having money.
There were at least some pluses:
Got my license back.
Ankle finally feels good again... Sort of.
Played more shows (not to anyone, but getting gigs is a plus).
Filled in a few nights doing pizza delivery for dad while he got some paid time off work (therefore I got to keep the money)
And some minuses:
Have spent around $700 on my car in the last two weeks and still need to pay for rego, RAC renewal, brake pads, and a very good servicing. There goes another $700 odd dollars and I don't have any more work to cover it.
Am fighting crippling depression at prospect of never working in any of the creative things I am good at (everyone else in my immediate family has horrible depression, so I'm pushing shit up a hill).
Haven't had a decent idea that I've actually had the resolve to flesh out in quite some time. Too many sketches in my head.
So, I'm still utterly confused as to what I should do. I really don't think my soul would survive in a genuine pleb job, and if I keep taking a scatterbrain approach of doing whatever creative thing comes to mind I will probably end up nowhere. It may be time to pick something and absolutely focus on it.
There you have it, readers (one can hope that there's more than just one - yes mum, I'm sure you read this). That's the last two and a bit months. Anyone got employment for me?
Looking for a decent job.
Trying to get people to actually come to Energy Commission shows.
Working on film projects for free.
Not having money.
There were at least some pluses:
Got my license back.
Ankle finally feels good again... Sort of.
Played more shows (not to anyone, but getting gigs is a plus).
Filled in a few nights doing pizza delivery for dad while he got some paid time off work (therefore I got to keep the money)
And some minuses:
Have spent around $700 on my car in the last two weeks and still need to pay for rego, RAC renewal, brake pads, and a very good servicing. There goes another $700 odd dollars and I don't have any more work to cover it.
Am fighting crippling depression at prospect of never working in any of the creative things I am good at (everyone else in my immediate family has horrible depression, so I'm pushing shit up a hill).
Haven't had a decent idea that I've actually had the resolve to flesh out in quite some time. Too many sketches in my head.
So, I'm still utterly confused as to what I should do. I really don't think my soul would survive in a genuine pleb job, and if I keep taking a scatterbrain approach of doing whatever creative thing comes to mind I will probably end up nowhere. It may be time to pick something and absolutely focus on it.
There you have it, readers (one can hope that there's more than just one - yes mum, I'm sure you read this). That's the last two and a bit months. Anyone got employment for me?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
New and old
So, I have been experiencing some new things, old things, and new old things lately. Obviously it is part of the whole moving to the real world thing after running out of academic steam.
First up, the new. I went to a club and actually had a reasonable time. I'm not going as far as to say that I am a dancin' fool, but once I got to actually participating instead of hanging in the dark like a saddo it was kind of fun (enough to not notice my friends leaving for Black Betty's). This is mainly due to me being on the prowl so to speak. I was by no means successful on that account, but I am working on my lady skillz so to speak (after a youth of being too shy, busy, or just plain doing it wrong).
The old is my lack of band success. I had on Saturday what I thought to be a pretty decent gig (albeit in North Freo). The basement is generally at least an ok crowd puller. I tried hard to put the word out (including local flyer distribution and reasonably popular bands). What I got was the same core group of 10 people and not much else. On the plus, we had 2 cameras filming it, which was good because we played well and the crowd isn't seen. Hopefully a good promo tool.
The new old is centrelink and having to actually do something for my money. I really hope I can get a vaguely relevant job (or anything) soon so I don't have to deal with them.
First up, the new. I went to a club and actually had a reasonable time. I'm not going as far as to say that I am a dancin' fool, but once I got to actually participating instead of hanging in the dark like a saddo it was kind of fun (enough to not notice my friends leaving for Black Betty's). This is mainly due to me being on the prowl so to speak. I was by no means successful on that account, but I am working on my lady skillz so to speak (after a youth of being too shy, busy, or just plain doing it wrong).
The old is my lack of band success. I had on Saturday what I thought to be a pretty decent gig (albeit in North Freo). The basement is generally at least an ok crowd puller. I tried hard to put the word out (including local flyer distribution and reasonably popular bands). What I got was the same core group of 10 people and not much else. On the plus, we had 2 cameras filming it, which was good because we played well and the crowd isn't seen. Hopefully a good promo tool.
The new old is centrelink and having to actually do something for my money. I really hope I can get a vaguely relevant job (or anything) soon so I don't have to deal with them.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Lester pt II (epic phone blog)
So, Transperth advertising. Firstly, they need better photographers, especially when they take photos of transperth employees. The current batch have an inability to make anyone look remotely good. There is one of a chick I have seen on multpiple occasions in real life, and while not the most attractive person in the world, this woman looked 10 years older and like she'd just gotten out of bed.
This brings me to the most useless part of the transperth empire: the website.
Not only is it poorly laid-out, it has questionable functionality at best. The journey planner generally misses obvious routes, and pages take ages to load (and there was that couple of weeks where the days of change video came up every time you visited the homepage, even if you'd been there 5 minutes ago).
And if you think it can't get any worse, thinj again. Mobile web functionality is even more retarded. You can't search past the next 5 services on anything.
Thus endeth the rant and the train ride.
This brings me to the most useless part of the transperth empire: the website.
Not only is it poorly laid-out, it has questionable functionality at best. The journey planner generally misses obvious routes, and pages take ages to load (and there was that couple of weeks where the days of change video came up every time you visited the homepage, even if you'd been there 5 minutes ago).
And if you think it can't get any worse, thinj again. Mobile web functionality is even more retarded. You can't search past the next 5 services on anything.
Thus endeth the rant and the train ride.
Lester
Someone called Lester with silky smooth hair should release an album and call it 'Lestrous'. Or I could get long hair again and do it under an alter ego.
Also, I just found out how to make line breaks on my phone (as evidenced by the fact there is a paragraph within this blog - yes, I have enough time to kill to want to type a blog out on my phone, although the thumb cramp is already creeping in).
Right now, I'm on a train home that just left Perth. For a Saturday night it is a boring train. You know your city is boring when your weekend night trains have old people with those old-lady trolleys and those ladies don't have cats or shout occasional racist comments.
Actually, while I'm on the subject of public transport, there are number of things that are shitting me at the moment. Firstly, the amount of trains with ridiculously loud bells that sound off whenever the doors close. It hurts my ears, and that leads me to believe it is an OSH issue. I actually took earplugs for a period just before I got my license.
Next is Transperth advertising. My god, how shit is it? Ok, I like the priority seat one with the baby, but that's just funny because of the look on his face. Oh shit, may run out of characters. BRB, double post.
Also, I just found out how to make line breaks on my phone (as evidenced by the fact there is a paragraph within this blog - yes, I have enough time to kill to want to type a blog out on my phone, although the thumb cramp is already creeping in).
Right now, I'm on a train home that just left Perth. For a Saturday night it is a boring train. You know your city is boring when your weekend night trains have old people with those old-lady trolleys and those ladies don't have cats or shout occasional racist comments.
Actually, while I'm on the subject of public transport, there are number of things that are shitting me at the moment. Firstly, the amount of trains with ridiculously loud bells that sound off whenever the doors close. It hurts my ears, and that leads me to believe it is an OSH issue. I actually took earplugs for a period just before I got my license.
Next is Transperth advertising. My god, how shit is it? Ok, I like the priority seat one with the baby, but that's just funny because of the look on his face. Oh shit, may run out of characters. BRB, double post.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
What's next?
Fuck knows.
I'm finished as a student and this brings up two things:
1. I'm glad I'm fucking done.
"Good."
2. If I'm not studying, and I don't want to do film work for free, what the hell do I do for money?
"Get a job, you hippie."
Yes, that's the logical conclusion. But why the hell have I just spent 4 and a half years studying when I can't work gainfully in the industries I studied for? It's not because I wanted to kill those years living away from the real world (entirely). I want to work in film or sound. I have the skills and knowledge to do so (despite my education).
"Well you're fucked, then."
Thanks for your vote of confidence. No, seriously. What do I do next?
"I'll give you ten bucks to suck my dick."
I'm not sure I'm that desperate yet. What I really hope is that either I get enough money on Centrelink to afford living in a sharehouse, and I can find a place that's not too far from the city, or one of the few potential job opportunities that seem to be vaguely in front of me pan out (although knowing my employment history it seems unlikely).
"So you're basically no further than you were at the start of this blog?"
Yes.
I'm finished as a student and this brings up two things:
1. I'm glad I'm fucking done.
"Good."
2. If I'm not studying, and I don't want to do film work for free, what the hell do I do for money?
"Get a job, you hippie."
Yes, that's the logical conclusion. But why the hell have I just spent 4 and a half years studying when I can't work gainfully in the industries I studied for? It's not because I wanted to kill those years living away from the real world (entirely). I want to work in film or sound. I have the skills and knowledge to do so (despite my education).
"Well you're fucked, then."
Thanks for your vote of confidence. No, seriously. What do I do next?
"I'll give you ten bucks to suck my dick."
I'm not sure I'm that desperate yet. What I really hope is that either I get enough money on Centrelink to afford living in a sharehouse, and I can find a place that's not too far from the city, or one of the few potential job opportunities that seem to be vaguely in front of me pan out (although knowing my employment history it seems unlikely).
"So you're basically no further than you were at the start of this blog?"
Yes.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Stimulation
As in I need some to finish (read: start) this scriptwriting shit. I'm hoping that writing this gets me in the mood to lay down some dialogue and get some storylining on the burner.
Unfortunately, I just sat 3 hours watching College Humor videos on youtube and the previous 2 hours looking at demotivational posters (I don't see many of these things because I don't spend too much time timewasting on youtube or forums. Mainly facebook or just generally sitting and being bored by nothingness). This means that I am hungry and want to get food from the city, which I can't do if I have any hope in hell of getting something worthwhile done tonight and not making this excursion a complete waste of time.
Just a general update to warm things up.
Firstly, Energy Commission have the first gig booked since I booked us to play at my shave (and look how well that went). July 10 at the Swan Basement, so we have a little over a month to actually fucking practice. So far we haven't actually played together as a band since the shave gig in mid-March. We've recorded 3 songs, but haven't actually had a proper rehearsal.
This has come at a really good time, because I was at the point where I thought we may have been unbookable in this town for some reason. My theory on being largely ignored is the fact that we are lyrically too vulgar for our musical audience. All the bands around this town that have blatantly profane and degenerate lyrics all play either really out there music or some form of genre with the words 'death' or 'core' involved, which means there is a specific scene for their music and lyrics. Energy Commission are caught between two worlds.
At least I have this gig to look forward to. Fuck I've missed playing live. Actually, I really want to get back on live bass playing in the near future, too. Or just something where I'm able to do what I usually do and thrash around and move. I try my best behind the drums, but there's only so crazy I can go at my skill level and maintain an adequate beat. This isn't saying I don't want to play drums, because I'm having plenty of fun with that.
Next up is the impending graduation (take 2). Of course, this assumes I get this final assignment done (still at least 50 pages of script to write in -1 days plus a further 3 episodes of synopses and a marketing/development strategy, but whatever). The problem is that something is totally sapping my will to do the fucking thing. I got a scene breakdown for a whole episode done the other day so I'd know how my 1st episode was structured, and now I've got total writers block on dialog for that episode and figuring out what the structure and content for the other episode will be. I can safely say shit has just gotten real, because It's probably going to take at least a day to write a decent script and I have to write 2. This was due Friday. It's now Saturday night.
I just think that because I've been so busy doing various film projects and helping people out that I have gotten used to being a bitch and trying to please people by going out of my way. Now I don't have as much of that to do and I'm stuck doing what I'm supposed to be doing and I just fucking can't. So frustrating.
Fuck. Now I have to go home. Progress today: Fuck all. I'm hoping the lack of facebook/internets on my journey home spurs my brain into gear.
Unfortunately, I just sat 3 hours watching College Humor videos on youtube and the previous 2 hours looking at demotivational posters (I don't see many of these things because I don't spend too much time timewasting on youtube or forums. Mainly facebook or just generally sitting and being bored by nothingness). This means that I am hungry and want to get food from the city, which I can't do if I have any hope in hell of getting something worthwhile done tonight and not making this excursion a complete waste of time.
Just a general update to warm things up.
Firstly, Energy Commission have the first gig booked since I booked us to play at my shave (and look how well that went). July 10 at the Swan Basement, so we have a little over a month to actually fucking practice. So far we haven't actually played together as a band since the shave gig in mid-March. We've recorded 3 songs, but haven't actually had a proper rehearsal.
This has come at a really good time, because I was at the point where I thought we may have been unbookable in this town for some reason. My theory on being largely ignored is the fact that we are lyrically too vulgar for our musical audience. All the bands around this town that have blatantly profane and degenerate lyrics all play either really out there music or some form of genre with the words 'death' or 'core' involved, which means there is a specific scene for their music and lyrics. Energy Commission are caught between two worlds.
At least I have this gig to look forward to. Fuck I've missed playing live. Actually, I really want to get back on live bass playing in the near future, too. Or just something where I'm able to do what I usually do and thrash around and move. I try my best behind the drums, but there's only so crazy I can go at my skill level and maintain an adequate beat. This isn't saying I don't want to play drums, because I'm having plenty of fun with that.
Next up is the impending graduation (take 2). Of course, this assumes I get this final assignment done (still at least 50 pages of script to write in -1 days plus a further 3 episodes of synopses and a marketing/development strategy, but whatever). The problem is that something is totally sapping my will to do the fucking thing. I got a scene breakdown for a whole episode done the other day so I'd know how my 1st episode was structured, and now I've got total writers block on dialog for that episode and figuring out what the structure and content for the other episode will be. I can safely say shit has just gotten real, because It's probably going to take at least a day to write a decent script and I have to write 2. This was due Friday. It's now Saturday night.
I just think that because I've been so busy doing various film projects and helping people out that I have gotten used to being a bitch and trying to please people by going out of my way. Now I don't have as much of that to do and I'm stuck doing what I'm supposed to be doing and I just fucking can't. So frustrating.
Fuck. Now I have to go home. Progress today: Fuck all. I'm hoping the lack of facebook/internets on my journey home spurs my brain into gear.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
I say the following things largely with an agenda of killing time, and under the influence of no sleep:
1. So, I'm going to build a robot that runs off my farts. It'll be awesome and strong and do all my bidding. The best thing is when I'm hungover and not feeling like doing things I'll probably have extra fuel for the robot. Also, I like chili beans. Also also, it's all my idea. George was not a creative party, and I will hire his rival to shoot the movie based off the inevitably popular comic that's bound to get made.
2. More Energy Commission recordings today. Layed down most of 'masturbate' and 'stank ass'. Apparently one of them has trumpet. Sick bro. Guitars and bass for 'stank ass' apparently not done due to pro tools/mac file transfer issues at TAFE. Hopefully sorted tomorrow.
3. I seem to be getting better at half winging presentations. This could be because I actually know something about the presentations I've done recently. It felt good to be able to do like 10 minutes of talking without needing to look at notes. Some bullshit, but plenty of good stuff.
4. Will hopefully have knocked off 2 film projects within a week or so, thus leaving me time to get on with the other non Reuben perpetuated project that I haven't even started (also assignments).
5. Really starting to doubt my 'cigarettes' film. Just have no time to fix the script/evaluate properly whether I need to. Feel like I need an EP to tell me what to change. Also, Hamish has moved, therefore I need to find another house. I also still need to cast the other parts and sort make-up/fx (vomit, maybe blood).
OK. Files transferred. Bed time now. Must get up early and return equipment then start editing more dance footage.
1. So, I'm going to build a robot that runs off my farts. It'll be awesome and strong and do all my bidding. The best thing is when I'm hungover and not feeling like doing things I'll probably have extra fuel for the robot. Also, I like chili beans. Also also, it's all my idea. George was not a creative party, and I will hire his rival to shoot the movie based off the inevitably popular comic that's bound to get made.
2. More Energy Commission recordings today. Layed down most of 'masturbate' and 'stank ass'. Apparently one of them has trumpet. Sick bro. Guitars and bass for 'stank ass' apparently not done due to pro tools/mac file transfer issues at TAFE. Hopefully sorted tomorrow.
3. I seem to be getting better at half winging presentations. This could be because I actually know something about the presentations I've done recently. It felt good to be able to do like 10 minutes of talking without needing to look at notes. Some bullshit, but plenty of good stuff.
4. Will hopefully have knocked off 2 film projects within a week or so, thus leaving me time to get on with the other non Reuben perpetuated project that I haven't even started (also assignments).
5. Really starting to doubt my 'cigarettes' film. Just have no time to fix the script/evaluate properly whether I need to. Feel like I need an EP to tell me what to change. Also, Hamish has moved, therefore I need to find another house. I also still need to cast the other parts and sort make-up/fx (vomit, maybe blood).
OK. Files transferred. Bed time now. Must get up early and return equipment then start editing more dance footage.
Friday, May 7, 2010
MOTHERFUCKER!
So, I may be becoming one of those people who is either a charity case or a source of secretive jokes that are only a secret from the person they're about. I don't know. All I know is that I know some of these people and perhaps have some similar thoughts. You know, the generic rants about not having 'real friends' and the like.
I may be finally getting beaten down to the point where I believe that I will not succeed in my endeavours, and I'm very nearly too tired to care anymore.
This is just something I have a total moral clash with, because I have been constantly fighting friends and family members who are at that point and trying to convince them otherwise. Of course, I realise it's not all roses, and there are compromises everywhere along the way, but now I'm starting to think that there is something about me that just oozes an aura similar to those Idol contestants who are absolutely terrible but have never discovered it. Of course, this is compounded by the fact that there are so many more creative outlets I like to associate myself with.
OK, this is too depressing. I need a change. Stay tuned?
I may be finally getting beaten down to the point where I believe that I will not succeed in my endeavours, and I'm very nearly too tired to care anymore.
This is just something I have a total moral clash with, because I have been constantly fighting friends and family members who are at that point and trying to convince them otherwise. Of course, I realise it's not all roses, and there are compromises everywhere along the way, but now I'm starting to think that there is something about me that just oozes an aura similar to those Idol contestants who are absolutely terrible but have never discovered it. Of course, this is compounded by the fact that there are so many more creative outlets I like to associate myself with.
OK, this is too depressing. I need a change. Stay tuned?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Is there anybody in there?
I'm not entirely sure anymore.
So, I guess this is the blog of decision, or at least trying to make them clear to myself.
My cushy ECU job failed hard (I didn't even make it to interview stage - so much for my loyalty).
This means I'm still left with the burning question:
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WHEN I GRADUATE?
Basically, I'm going to need gainful employment because I want to finally get out of home. This probably means getting a shitty job which is totally going to impede on my creative shit (anyone with a shit-kicker film job who wants to employ me is also more than welcome).
On one hand, this lack of experience in the real workforce is an advantage because I can move anywhere in the world and a shit-kicker job is still a shit-kicker job. Of course, the downside is also that a shit-kicker job is a shit-kicker job.
I guess the main thing I am questioning is can I get a job doing something creative, or something that will sustain me enough to fund my creative exploits. On top of that, which is the creative position I am most likely to get somewhere with?
Nobody seems interested in the music I make. Nobody wants to pay for a producer for a band unless they have a label, then they don't want an unknown. Studios don't want engineers because they already have them. Nobody wants an editor with no real experience. Sound recordists need their own gear.
I'm starting to think of switching professions. Just be a dumb-arse freelance camera op. I did it on the recent wireless test videos with Alex with a shitty little handycam and did a good job with that. I actually applied for a freelance camera job, but it was filled before I got in. Quick and the dead.
Otherwise I could join the majority of my friends in becoming aspiring writers, or the rest of my friends who are trying their hands at amateur comedy nights. I watched bits of the Tim Minchin thing on ABC last night. He became a UK-wide phenomenon and he's not really what you call laugh-out-loud funny. Sure, he can be clever with wordplay, but you really just appreciate it subtly more than anything.
This is the one thing that I have never gotten over in the barrier to trying stand-up. What the fuck kind of act would I do? I would love to be a spontaneous comedian like Ross Noble, but I'm not sure I have the chops to just riff off of my own musings and make it continuously funny. I also doubt whether it would seem as funny coming out of my mouth, being an absolute nobody. The thing about Ross Noble is that he now has the reputation, and therefore people seem to laugh in anticipation of what might happen.
I just want something to happen. SOMETHING. I have reached a status quo that has been established over the last year (or maybe two). It may not be your average status quo, but I can see it becoming a trap. I bog myself down in other people's projects for little or no money or recognition, all the while not getting around to my own stuff.
Hopefully I actually make my short film and nothing happens to put it off (people pulling out, me not having time, sudden lack of access to equipment). I think this is only step one, though. This is really about me proving that I've learned something by watching and analysing on film sets over the years. I really want to exploit the new community tv station to get my series made, because I feel that would be the biggest break I could get at this point from the perspective of being taken seriously by the film and tv world. If I have my name as a series creator on something that's been made AND has air time AND isn't shit I would have an edge over many more people than I currently would (nobody). On top of that, I can also then help the people that have helped me. I want to bring karma to the industry.
Unfortunately, I must bide my time, though. My pitch and supporting materials aren't ready yet (or at least I don't think so - I don't actually know what I need to pitch it). Scriptwriting class is going to get the series ready to pitch, and then hopefully the big man John Rapsey can help me wedge my foot in the door.
Actually, a producer attached to it wouldn't hurt. I'm going to get onto this. Someone who can help me convince the station that the show will be cheap (or freeish).
On to work.
Apologies for long post.
So, I guess this is the blog of decision, or at least trying to make them clear to myself.
My cushy ECU job failed hard (I didn't even make it to interview stage - so much for my loyalty).
This means I'm still left with the burning question:
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WHEN I GRADUATE?
Basically, I'm going to need gainful employment because I want to finally get out of home. This probably means getting a shitty job which is totally going to impede on my creative shit (anyone with a shit-kicker film job who wants to employ me is also more than welcome).
On one hand, this lack of experience in the real workforce is an advantage because I can move anywhere in the world and a shit-kicker job is still a shit-kicker job. Of course, the downside is also that a shit-kicker job is a shit-kicker job.
I guess the main thing I am questioning is can I get a job doing something creative, or something that will sustain me enough to fund my creative exploits. On top of that, which is the creative position I am most likely to get somewhere with?
Nobody seems interested in the music I make. Nobody wants to pay for a producer for a band unless they have a label, then they don't want an unknown. Studios don't want engineers because they already have them. Nobody wants an editor with no real experience. Sound recordists need their own gear.
I'm starting to think of switching professions. Just be a dumb-arse freelance camera op. I did it on the recent wireless test videos with Alex with a shitty little handycam and did a good job with that. I actually applied for a freelance camera job, but it was filled before I got in. Quick and the dead.
Otherwise I could join the majority of my friends in becoming aspiring writers, or the rest of my friends who are trying their hands at amateur comedy nights. I watched bits of the Tim Minchin thing on ABC last night. He became a UK-wide phenomenon and he's not really what you call laugh-out-loud funny. Sure, he can be clever with wordplay, but you really just appreciate it subtly more than anything.
This is the one thing that I have never gotten over in the barrier to trying stand-up. What the fuck kind of act would I do? I would love to be a spontaneous comedian like Ross Noble, but I'm not sure I have the chops to just riff off of my own musings and make it continuously funny. I also doubt whether it would seem as funny coming out of my mouth, being an absolute nobody. The thing about Ross Noble is that he now has the reputation, and therefore people seem to laugh in anticipation of what might happen.
I just want something to happen. SOMETHING. I have reached a status quo that has been established over the last year (or maybe two). It may not be your average status quo, but I can see it becoming a trap. I bog myself down in other people's projects for little or no money or recognition, all the while not getting around to my own stuff.
Hopefully I actually make my short film and nothing happens to put it off (people pulling out, me not having time, sudden lack of access to equipment). I think this is only step one, though. This is really about me proving that I've learned something by watching and analysing on film sets over the years. I really want to exploit the new community tv station to get my series made, because I feel that would be the biggest break I could get at this point from the perspective of being taken seriously by the film and tv world. If I have my name as a series creator on something that's been made AND has air time AND isn't shit I would have an edge over many more people than I currently would (nobody). On top of that, I can also then help the people that have helped me. I want to bring karma to the industry.
Unfortunately, I must bide my time, though. My pitch and supporting materials aren't ready yet (or at least I don't think so - I don't actually know what I need to pitch it). Scriptwriting class is going to get the series ready to pitch, and then hopefully the big man John Rapsey can help me wedge my foot in the door.
Actually, a producer attached to it wouldn't hurt. I'm going to get onto this. Someone who can help me convince the station that the show will be cheap (or freeish).
On to work.
Apologies for long post.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Fuckity fuck fuck
Hmm, quite.
So, I have some heavy shit in my head at the moment, but it's probably stuff that's going to stay in my head for a little while.
On top of that, I'm starting to think I'm floundering in my workload, and becoming less motivated to finish stuff I started. New projects become old projects, and then new projects come along and I'm far less motivated to work on the old ones. That's OK, except sometimes those projects aren't mine. Sure, I signed up to work for free and the old adage 'you get what you pay for' applies, but if you agree to work on something and take an enthusiastic approach at the time, people may just put blind faith in your abilities. This means you just have to suck it up and push through despite a lack of interest, because you made it seem like people can count on you.
I suppose what I can say I've learned from this is that there is such a thing as being 'too keen'.
In relation to my last blog, I have mixed emotions about this upcoming job opportunity. Having a steady income is a good thing, but at the same time I am tied to Perth at least for a little while, rather than following life and love over-east.
I suppose this is a lesson in life, and as I mentioned, I am grateful to have life opportunities in multiple places and areas, but decision-making is not exactly my fortè.
Confusion reigns, as always. All I can do is do what I do and dumb it down for the masses.
So, I have some heavy shit in my head at the moment, but it's probably stuff that's going to stay in my head for a little while.
On top of that, I'm starting to think I'm floundering in my workload, and becoming less motivated to finish stuff I started. New projects become old projects, and then new projects come along and I'm far less motivated to work on the old ones. That's OK, except sometimes those projects aren't mine. Sure, I signed up to work for free and the old adage 'you get what you pay for' applies, but if you agree to work on something and take an enthusiastic approach at the time, people may just put blind faith in your abilities. This means you just have to suck it up and push through despite a lack of interest, because you made it seem like people can count on you.
I suppose what I can say I've learned from this is that there is such a thing as being 'too keen'.
In relation to my last blog, I have mixed emotions about this upcoming job opportunity. Having a steady income is a good thing, but at the same time I am tied to Perth at least for a little while, rather than following life and love over-east.
I suppose this is a lesson in life, and as I mentioned, I am grateful to have life opportunities in multiple places and areas, but decision-making is not exactly my fortè.
Confusion reigns, as always. All I can do is do what I do and dumb it down for the masses.
Monday, April 5, 2010
I'm typing this on a netbook
Am I cool yet?
Today was a fun day utilising free internets in semi-exotic locations.
Also, until I'm finished capturing and organising footage this netbook and free internets stays with me. I feel slightly empowered with this machine on my lap as I sit on the couch with cricket in the background on the tv.
Also, I'm applying for the new vacancy in the WAAPA loans store. Could be an interesting new move in life having a steady job. The main problem is that it ties me down to Perth for a little while. I imagine employing someone in a full-time position generally means you want them there for a little while, whereas my heart belongs with the masses relocating to Melbourne.
I suppose having the option of potentially taking a relatively well paying job or moving east to try and 'make it' (whatever that means) is more than many people have.
We shall see what time dictates.
Today was a fun day utilising free internets in semi-exotic locations.
Also, until I'm finished capturing and organising footage this netbook and free internets stays with me. I feel slightly empowered with this machine on my lap as I sit on the couch with cricket in the background on the tv.
Also, I'm applying for the new vacancy in the WAAPA loans store. Could be an interesting new move in life having a steady job. The main problem is that it ties me down to Perth for a little while. I imagine employing someone in a full-time position generally means you want them there for a little while, whereas my heart belongs with the masses relocating to Melbourne.
I suppose having the option of potentially taking a relatively well paying job or moving east to try and 'make it' (whatever that means) is more than many people have.
We shall see what time dictates.
Friday, April 2, 2010
iJesus 2.0
Hmm. Free cleanskin wine is most certainly doing what it was supposed to do.
Updates + general rants engage...
First news, I won an online film festival and get a free website for 6 months. I suppose it's a kick up the arse to get a page running and maintain it. It also keeps up motivation to continue making films on the side. Who knows, perhaps I can cross to the dark side of directing on a more regular basis? Only time and general consensus will tell.
What else is happening? Various projects are doing stuff with my involvement at various levels. Post sound on Project Bay and Sintillate are to be focused on soon. Got the LINK dance project to start editing on. Alex and I are hitting the streets hopefully on Monday to film some crazy promotion thing for a new company. Not quite sure why I'm shooting it, though.
Also, I'm thinking more about employment. Anyone in Perth or Armadale got casual jobs for me? I'm wondering if I should take out an ad in the west.
WANTED - EMPLOYER:
Poor student seeks employer for casual engagements. Must have flexible work hours and be near public transport for the next 3 months. In the interest of full disclosure, I may have had a run-in with the popo recently that has impeded on my abilities to legally operate a vehicle.
Is this unreasonable?
Updates + general rants engage...
First news, I won an online film festival and get a free website for 6 months. I suppose it's a kick up the arse to get a page running and maintain it. It also keeps up motivation to continue making films on the side. Who knows, perhaps I can cross to the dark side of directing on a more regular basis? Only time and general consensus will tell.
What else is happening? Various projects are doing stuff with my involvement at various levels. Post sound on Project Bay and Sintillate are to be focused on soon. Got the LINK dance project to start editing on. Alex and I are hitting the streets hopefully on Monday to film some crazy promotion thing for a new company. Not quite sure why I'm shooting it, though.
Also, I'm thinking more about employment. Anyone in Perth or Armadale got casual jobs for me? I'm wondering if I should take out an ad in the west.
WANTED - EMPLOYER:
Poor student seeks employer for casual engagements. Must have flexible work hours and be near public transport for the next 3 months. In the interest of full disclosure, I may have had a run-in with the popo recently that has impeded on my abilities to legally operate a vehicle.
Is this unreasonable?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
There really needs to be an efficient system of letting all of your friends know the answers to the menial questions that come with finding out that you changed something about your appearance/made a big decision/similar. I know you want to ask these questions, and I'm sure you understand that everybody else will be asking the same thing, and I also understand that you kind of need to ask the question/s, but it shits me (and I'm sure you all feel the same way about it in your situations).
Perhaps like a journalist that asks you these necessary mundane questions shortly after something big happens and puts the interview up for all to see. You see someone in the street and they ask you "Does your head feel lighter?" and you say "You'll find my official response at my webpage. I'll be fielding no further questions on the matter."
Of course, this is impractical and unsociable, but it's a start.
Or you could just write it on your blog and those who don't read it can be directed there.
Perhaps like a journalist that asks you these necessary mundane questions shortly after something big happens and puts the interview up for all to see. You see someone in the street and they ask you "Does your head feel lighter?" and you say "You'll find my official response at my webpage. I'll be fielding no further questions on the matter."
Of course, this is impractical and unsociable, but it's a start.
Or you could just write it on your blog and those who don't read it can be directed there.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Things I don't understand
I don't understand people - which includes myself and my family. I don't understand what possible reason my brother has to take a whole box of my mother's prescription drugs. I don't understand why I'll probably never be able to ask him about it. I don't understand why I doom my relationships with girls I like to 'good friends'.. I don't understand my need to figure out all of the things I don't understand about my self without the help of others. I don't understand academics. I don't understand how individuality can both bring immense joy and also topple entire societies. I don't understand how hypocrites (including myself) don't realise their hypocrisy at the time. I pretty much don't understand 99% of life.
I understand that I will never understand most of what I mentioned, but I don't understand why.
I understand that I will never understand most of what I mentioned, but I don't understand why.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Shaven, not stirred
It's gone down. My head is exposed. A chapter endeth. I say 'who gives a shit'.
I don't think my life has changed at all because of it, except my showers are shorter and my hair is no longer in my face when I drive or eat. Actually, I had the first shiver on my skull for a long time driving home last night with the window open. Just for a second my head was cold, which was a tad odd.
My next goal is to collect enough money to reach my target of $1000. I am currently about $180 away from this, so this is utterly achievable before I give all of the money in at the end of the month.
Following that, collect everything people actually pledged, which is about another $280 on top of the target. This is purely up to the people who pledged to get off their arses. I will send messages with all the options and hopefully honour wins out.
Following this, is to push the people who said that they would support me but didn't nominate an actual pledge amount (some of these have paid up already). It would be amazing if I could send in $1500 when it comes to the end of the month.
I don't think my life has changed at all because of it, except my showers are shorter and my hair is no longer in my face when I drive or eat. Actually, I had the first shiver on my skull for a long time driving home last night with the window open. Just for a second my head was cold, which was a tad odd.
My next goal is to collect enough money to reach my target of $1000. I am currently about $180 away from this, so this is utterly achievable before I give all of the money in at the end of the month.
Following that, collect everything people actually pledged, which is about another $280 on top of the target. This is purely up to the people who pledged to get off their arses. I will send messages with all the options and hopefully honour wins out.
Following this, is to push the people who said that they would support me but didn't nominate an actual pledge amount (some of these have paid up already). It would be amazing if I could send in $1500 when it comes to the end of the month.
Monday, March 8, 2010
The strange love child of a pair of different shovels
Busy busy busy
People to do, things to see.
I'm apparently a 1st AD and producer on a project with no experience in either role, no desire to do them, and 'clients' who have no idea why this shouldn't happen. Luckily for them I want to see the project happen and need editing credits.
Speaking of which, lord give me a gig editing a WAAPA film and pay me for it. Andrew Lewis seemed strangely upbeat when I mentioned it to him. If the writers get $500 I'm hoping for the same. Gonna need it. Actually give me two films. I'll take a discount on the second.
I must chat with my DOP on the film I'm making and get some shots sorted. I must also get in contact with the guy who wanted to 1st AD (after the guy who wants to produce gets back to me because I only have his details).
Also, the same person who is DOPing my film is directing another film I'm doing sound on next week. I need to sort that out.
As for sound, Light as a Feather pushed my physical limits on the weekend. Overtime is not fun on no sleep, especially when you're not being paid. Got voice recording tomorrow night, then off the film until the weekend. Also must find a replacement for Friday. Shave during the day, looking after the dog at night.
Scriptwriting class could be a good move for me. Friends on the WTV board, ideas flowing and to be almost fully formed during the semester. I'd love to get support for a series, and I happen to also have a boner for achievable projects, so this may just be a winner.
Too many pies, not enough fingers.
People to do, things to see.
I'm apparently a 1st AD and producer on a project with no experience in either role, no desire to do them, and 'clients' who have no idea why this shouldn't happen. Luckily for them I want to see the project happen and need editing credits.
Speaking of which, lord give me a gig editing a WAAPA film and pay me for it. Andrew Lewis seemed strangely upbeat when I mentioned it to him. If the writers get $500 I'm hoping for the same. Gonna need it. Actually give me two films. I'll take a discount on the second.
I must chat with my DOP on the film I'm making and get some shots sorted. I must also get in contact with the guy who wanted to 1st AD (after the guy who wants to produce gets back to me because I only have his details).
Also, the same person who is DOPing my film is directing another film I'm doing sound on next week. I need to sort that out.
As for sound, Light as a Feather pushed my physical limits on the weekend. Overtime is not fun on no sleep, especially when you're not being paid. Got voice recording tomorrow night, then off the film until the weekend. Also must find a replacement for Friday. Shave during the day, looking after the dog at night.
Scriptwriting class could be a good move for me. Friends on the WTV board, ideas flowing and to be almost fully formed during the semester. I'd love to get support for a series, and I happen to also have a boner for achievable projects, so this may just be a winner.
Too many pies, not enough fingers.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Does this mean I'm a blogger now?
OK, so I'm not writing as often as I urinate, but it's heading there.
So I'm writing this as a record of me saying that I'm getting in gear to put my director's hat on properly and make a short film that involves planning and thought and script editing and rehearsals, and shot-lists.
I'm really motivated to show that I can make a good film without being a scholarly twat. I even have crew on-board. A producer, 1st AD, and DOP is a pretty good start, I think.
Not to mention a handsome son-of-a-gun who I want to bone in the male lead role.
If I play my cards right I'll have a film before mid-year that I can use to start actually getting money to make stuff.
So I'm writing this as a record of me saying that I'm getting in gear to put my director's hat on properly and make a short film that involves planning and thought and script editing and rehearsals, and shot-lists.
I'm really motivated to show that I can make a good film without being a scholarly twat. I even have crew on-board. A producer, 1st AD, and DOP is a pretty good start, I think.
Not to mention a handsome son-of-a-gun who I want to bone in the male lead role.
If I play my cards right I'll have a film before mid-year that I can use to start actually getting money to make stuff.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I'm not a monkey
Although in a certain light I kind of look like one.
So, I'm just in general thinking about people that I know and my circle of friends and coming to some conclusions.
It seems that because of study/film stuff that the majority of my social time is spent with film people that I work with. I'm not necessarily saying that this is bad, because I've met some really awesome people from film-based connections.
It just seems that I'm doing all of this stuff and I don't have time for my other friends, which I don't really like It's kind of especially bad because I just feel as if I don't have the energy to hang with anyone I'm not directly involved in a project with. This scares me because I'm quite possibly turning into a workaholic and a permanent bitch to whoever I'm doing stuff for.
I rarely see my family because I'm out all day and I come back then eat and sleep, which is also causing tension because I just don't have time to pull my weight around the house.
On top of that, the time I actually spend playing music is forever dwindling. I'm always out so I can never really jam, and until recently I didn't really have a guitar in working order to mess around when I have a spare few minutes.
Hopefully now I have my acoustic in working order I will be able to spend some time writing and practicing and start getting some solo gigs or just taking to the streets and busking (played an impromtu gig on Wednesday last week and bombed pretty hard due to no practice).
Eh, here's hoping the future is looking up, although I do have 2 projects to finish sound for, this dance project to organise and edit, and my short that I want to get going in early April.
So, I'm just in general thinking about people that I know and my circle of friends and coming to some conclusions.
It seems that because of study/film stuff that the majority of my social time is spent with film people that I work with. I'm not necessarily saying that this is bad, because I've met some really awesome people from film-based connections.
It just seems that I'm doing all of this stuff and I don't have time for my other friends, which I don't really like It's kind of especially bad because I just feel as if I don't have the energy to hang with anyone I'm not directly involved in a project with. This scares me because I'm quite possibly turning into a workaholic and a permanent bitch to whoever I'm doing stuff for.
I rarely see my family because I'm out all day and I come back then eat and sleep, which is also causing tension because I just don't have time to pull my weight around the house.
On top of that, the time I actually spend playing music is forever dwindling. I'm always out so I can never really jam, and until recently I didn't really have a guitar in working order to mess around when I have a spare few minutes.
Hopefully now I have my acoustic in working order I will be able to spend some time writing and practicing and start getting some solo gigs or just taking to the streets and busking (played an impromtu gig on Wednesday last week and bombed pretty hard due to no practice).
Eh, here's hoping the future is looking up, although I do have 2 projects to finish sound for, this dance project to organise and edit, and my short that I want to get going in early April.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Moondynes
Fuck yes!
Recording that album was good times. Most fun session I've ever had. 3 men, a few beers, some goon, and a bunch of songs.
Some of my most naturally awesome sounding recording, despite (or because of) it's flaws, and it stands as testament that in one 20 hour sitting the 3 of us could record and mix 11 songs to a standard that one can be proud of (in a bastard child sort of way).
The fact that I'd never heard half of the songs before playing them and they developed a life of their own as we recorded them was just something that I am in awe of.
I'm not blowing my horn here, just thinking about how musicians with a connection can just feel what's going on and make something unique happen.
Recording that album was good times. Most fun session I've ever had. 3 men, a few beers, some goon, and a bunch of songs.
Some of my most naturally awesome sounding recording, despite (or because of) it's flaws, and it stands as testament that in one 20 hour sitting the 3 of us could record and mix 11 songs to a standard that one can be proud of (in a bastard child sort of way).
The fact that I'd never heard half of the songs before playing them and they developed a life of their own as we recorded them was just something that I am in awe of.
I'm not blowing my horn here, just thinking about how musicians with a connection can just feel what's going on and make something unique happen.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
This is a fjkfjkfijof
I am writing this due to a current bout of general frustration welling inside me currently. The succession of random letters seemed to encapsulate that.
I want to do something, but it's late and I need to go to bed soon. I was going to work on a new Ego and the Ids song, but the file is on my hard drive, and that means getting up. I was going to write something constructive, but I guess the overall frustration won out and I just needed to blurt a bunch of stuff out and hope it calms me down.
What else is going on? I'm listening to Jimi Hendrix at the moment. That's getting me going. Oh god I want to jam and just thrash about and hit stuff. Typical primal stuff. Who wants to start a hardcore punk band 80s style? Oh, also I think there's a market for a dark-edged electronic guitar group with a sex-vixen singer Garbage style. In need of one female with sex-appeal to the high mountains - preferably with a daddy complex or other issue that needs to be resolved by song.
How was your day? Hope that thing went well and whatshisface is staying out of your shit. We'll have to catch-up about it all over coffee, or a beer, or some form of healthy juice, or heroin, or whatever it is you're into these days.
On a related note I feel like I don't get to just hang with people I want to hang with. There's either an event where attentions get divided or it's business and so discussions are mainly related to that. Of course, there are only a small handful of people that I will go out of my way to hang with. Actually, is it strange that I could probably live without people if push came to shove? And why am I asking you (whoever you are, I'm sure there's only about 5 people who read my blog, which is a liberal estimation, there's only one person who I actually know reads my blog at least occasionally - which is about as often as I post anyway, although I do try and make it interesting in some way - so that person can safely assume that I'm pretty much writing this blog only expecting them to read it - this is a really long bracket).
So, have a good time at your shit, whatever that may be.
I want to do something, but it's late and I need to go to bed soon. I was going to work on a new Ego and the Ids song, but the file is on my hard drive, and that means getting up. I was going to write something constructive, but I guess the overall frustration won out and I just needed to blurt a bunch of stuff out and hope it calms me down.
What else is going on? I'm listening to Jimi Hendrix at the moment. That's getting me going. Oh god I want to jam and just thrash about and hit stuff. Typical primal stuff. Who wants to start a hardcore punk band 80s style? Oh, also I think there's a market for a dark-edged electronic guitar group with a sex-vixen singer Garbage style. In need of one female with sex-appeal to the high mountains - preferably with a daddy complex or other issue that needs to be resolved by song.
How was your day? Hope that thing went well and whatshisface is staying out of your shit. We'll have to catch-up about it all over coffee, or a beer, or some form of healthy juice, or heroin, or whatever it is you're into these days.
On a related note I feel like I don't get to just hang with people I want to hang with. There's either an event where attentions get divided or it's business and so discussions are mainly related to that. Of course, there are only a small handful of people that I will go out of my way to hang with. Actually, is it strange that I could probably live without people if push came to shove? And why am I asking you (whoever you are, I'm sure there's only about 5 people who read my blog, which is a liberal estimation, there's only one person who I actually know reads my blog at least occasionally - which is about as often as I post anyway, although I do try and make it interesting in some way - so that person can safely assume that I'm pretty much writing this blog only expecting them to read it - this is a really long bracket).
So, have a good time at your shit, whatever that may be.
Monday, February 8, 2010
I'm far too busy being delicious
OK, so as a note to anyone I am doing something for who reads this, I am a little distracted as of late. I'm having more random bursts of creativity, and these often consume me and confuse me. I will finish what I'm supposed to do, but beware those who have left deadlines loose. I will still be doing stuff, but I will be putting most of the professionalism and commitment I have into those who are prepared to crack the whip.
I finished a script today which is hopefully my least shit script. It has what I think is some fairly realistic dialogue, and an actual story (unlike my last film) - it is not a very deep story, but that becomes important at the end. At the moment, the main thing I don't like about it actually IS the ending, but that's more because I threw a half-hearted and potentially tasteless punchline to finish the film, without having any real resolution or at least a cool cliffhanger.
I also shot some cool soccer footage from the park on Sunday and am distracted in putting together a cool slow-mo epic sports video, despite the fact that I somehow turned the slow-mo off the camera before we played (fixing it in post is proving time-consuming and not necessarily good).
Ooh. I get to be at least present (probably running or co-running) the recording session for the music in a short musical. Just another cool thing to chuck on the old CV. The composer is very well-known and constantly employed in Perth, so it could be a good connection to make.
I finished a script today which is hopefully my least shit script. It has what I think is some fairly realistic dialogue, and an actual story (unlike my last film) - it is not a very deep story, but that becomes important at the end. At the moment, the main thing I don't like about it actually IS the ending, but that's more because I threw a half-hearted and potentially tasteless punchline to finish the film, without having any real resolution or at least a cool cliffhanger.
I also shot some cool soccer footage from the park on Sunday and am distracted in putting together a cool slow-mo epic sports video, despite the fact that I somehow turned the slow-mo off the camera before we played (fixing it in post is proving time-consuming and not necessarily good).
Ooh. I get to be at least present (probably running or co-running) the recording session for the music in a short musical. Just another cool thing to chuck on the old CV. The composer is very well-known and constantly employed in Perth, so it could be a good connection to make.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Here's the plan...
... so, there is no plan. Except, that we give it our best shot. Whatever 'it' is.
I appear to have narrowed down what my problem is (well, one of them).
Too many ideas, not enough time or energy to finish them.
I did start a new script today. Hopefully I'll finish it tomorrow, or at least in a week. Then I can send it to friends for feedback (a select list of friends who write). I want to make it some time this year, and hopefully all I need from a props point of view is a pack of cigarettes, bottle of jaegermeister, bottles of beer, and glasses for Jaegerbombs, and some pizza boxes.
If I want to try for OOMPF funding I'll have to wait until I graduate midway into the year because apparently they don't take students (although I distinctly remember being involved with an OOMPF funded film last year with the director being at the Screen Academy, and they gave Hyper-Link to a producer who is studying script-writing part-time and a director doing a pHD in something film-related).
Hopefully I can do it on my own, and just steal a gaffer and soundie from SCRAD.
In the meantime, I need to sustain myself to fund these frivolous activities. So, cover band it is (luckily in a relatively busy section at the moment, also my Centrelink payments should kick in within a few weeks).
I appear to have narrowed down what my problem is (well, one of them).
Too many ideas, not enough time or energy to finish them.
I did start a new script today. Hopefully I'll finish it tomorrow, or at least in a week. Then I can send it to friends for feedback (a select list of friends who write). I want to make it some time this year, and hopefully all I need from a props point of view is a pack of cigarettes, bottle of jaegermeister, bottles of beer, and glasses for Jaegerbombs, and some pizza boxes.
If I want to try for OOMPF funding I'll have to wait until I graduate midway into the year because apparently they don't take students (although I distinctly remember being involved with an OOMPF funded film last year with the director being at the Screen Academy, and they gave Hyper-Link to a producer who is studying script-writing part-time and a director doing a pHD in something film-related).
Hopefully I can do it on my own, and just steal a gaffer and soundie from SCRAD.
In the meantime, I need to sustain myself to fund these frivolous activities. So, cover band it is (luckily in a relatively busy section at the moment, also my Centrelink payments should kick in within a few weeks).
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
A is for Awesome
I know things. Things that people shouldn't know. Does it bother me? A little. But would you have known that by looking at me? No. I keep my unrest to myself, and so should everyone else. It's how the system works. People hear or see things they shouldn't have, they bury it deep inside, nobody hears about it ever again unless that person gets hypnotised or something stupid like that. So why am I blindfolded and hogtied in the back of a car pretending to be unconscious when two federal agents are talking about a murder as if I'm not here?
Candy? This is what passes for currency these days? And while I'm at it, let me ask you something - who wears purple to a funeral that's not for a pimp? All of these are questions more important to the ones I am currently being asked by a bunch of know-nothing dickweeds with more hair than brains (and before you interject, yes, they have crew cuts). Are they solving a murder case or trying to get the first-date chatter out of the way before trying to mount me in the cab-ride back to my place? I've heard more probing questions on The View. So what do I do? I end the pain. I spill my guts, and they spill their guts, except with vomit instead of words, and just as I don't want to eat my words, I'm sure as hell they don't want to eat theirs.
Emptiness. This is what I feel without my little secret. I've had it so long that it was a part of me. Without the constant wrestling between conscience and living a quiet life I am missing something an element of me that I must get back.
Candy? This is what passes for currency these days? And while I'm at it, let me ask you something - who wears purple to a funeral that's not for a pimp? All of these are questions more important to the ones I am currently being asked by a bunch of know-nothing dickweeds with more hair than brains (and before you interject, yes, they have crew cuts). Are they solving a murder case or trying to get the first-date chatter out of the way before trying to mount me in the cab-ride back to my place? I've heard more probing questions on The View. So what do I do? I end the pain. I spill my guts, and they spill their guts, except with vomit instead of words, and just as I don't want to eat my words, I'm sure as hell they don't want to eat theirs.
Emptiness. This is what I feel without my little secret. I've had it so long that it was a part of me. Without the constant wrestling between conscience and living a quiet life I am missing something an element of me that I must get back.
Friday, January 22, 2010
A rapper I aint. A sexually frustrated white boy, yes.
BOOM! I'm the fucking bomb, I explode while fucking
But don't get me wrong, I don't mean to point out how bad you're sucking
You fuck like a sloth, you just lie on the bed and occasionally cough,
It's not like you're snuffleupegas with those big ole' eyes that say
"I'm really sorry mister, but at least I tried"
I say this as a trained professional in the art of getting it on
As a metaphor, you're conversational skills are nothing but wrong
You're style's so bad I'm parodying you're shit in a song, but only because I care
So don't dare go around trying to put this on me
Cos ain't no punk ass gonna believe you, you'll fucking see
Three times and I didn't even get off once
This is some bullshit when only the woman cums
It bums me out, and don't you question my junk, because it's all in order
I border on the divine, so it's fair to fucking say I'm fine, it's all you
Selfish bitch, I hope you fucking die.
But don't get me wrong, I don't mean to point out how bad you're sucking
You fuck like a sloth, you just lie on the bed and occasionally cough,
It's not like you're snuffleupegas with those big ole' eyes that say
"I'm really sorry mister, but at least I tried"
I say this as a trained professional in the art of getting it on
As a metaphor, you're conversational skills are nothing but wrong
You're style's so bad I'm parodying you're shit in a song, but only because I care
So don't dare go around trying to put this on me
Cos ain't no punk ass gonna believe you, you'll fucking see
Three times and I didn't even get off once
This is some bullshit when only the woman cums
It bums me out, and don't you question my junk, because it's all in order
I border on the divine, so it's fair to fucking say I'm fine, it's all you
Selfish bitch, I hope you fucking die.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I don't wanna make you bouce, I wanna be loved and hated in equal amounts
Wise words. Awesome song. Maybe not wise words, but relevant to the middle class. I am not in the middle class, to I imagine that I'll be at the very least hated by someone.
Anyway, it's a new year (well, as far as 19 days can be considered new), and as usual I don't know what the fuck is coming up next. I've got plenty of unpaid film work (well, not plenty, but enough to keep me occupied over the first few months of the year), one more semester of study (gotta do a bunch of theory, but Centrelink are finally going to pay me again, so I guess it sort of balances).
Actually, I have a beef with Centrelink (OK, not out of the ordinary) about going back on youth allowance. I am continuing the same course of study, but because the course is only just recently approved for payment, I don't actually receive any money until the semester starts, whereas if I was already getting paid, the money would continue over the holidays. WTF? I've been studying full time for a year with no money and bugger all income (other than occasional cover band gigs and the few times I would be paid a meager amount to be on a film). What am I supposed to do? Get a job for 2 months? OK, fair enough, I could do part-time/casual work that I can scale back when I'm at uni again. I did try to look for work (not particularly hard), but I don't want to be someone who puts aside my aspirations just to earn a god-damn living. Don't tell me I can get a job to save up for stuff I need to do what I want, because so many people fall into the trap of getting stuck in their shitty jobs and lose all motivation to get creative.
So, here's what is potentially cool about this year (now and future):
Just about finished mixing an EP for a band that I recorded a demo song for late last year. They seem to have some interest, which could work to my advantage if they go anywhere and like what I do (which they seem to, and I don't think I'm doing too shabby a job with just the bare essentials at my fingertips). Even if they don't go anywhere, it's something that if I have my name attached to it and someone likes the sounds, they might want to know more about me. I'm hoping this is a good inroad to the studio side of things.
Feature film looking for attachments etc. I had this brought to my attention by the lovely Jules at the Screen Academy (where I currently study, albeit the fact that I should have finished by now), and I've promptly gotten my CV ready to go off. Getting paid (even if it's a reduced rate) to be on a film (one that is being shot up north somewhere) would be an amazing experience. I will do whatever job anyone needs to get on a film set and shmooze away. I can put up with heat.
World's Greatest Shave. This is a big step for me, having been with the hair for about 7 years, and having never really done any charity fundraising before. I really hope to get plenty of support for this, so I can feel good about doing it and throwing a big event at the tav to mark the occasion. Please visit my page and donate some money by credit card, or leave me a message on my facebook/phone/email telling me how much you want to donate, and whether you want to save the hair, or shave it. I have an official receipt book that I can whip out when I get your money so you can claim it on tax. Just make sure you have the money, and that I will be able to see you before the big day (or that you're able to bring money on the day).
So, yeah. Good times, I guess.
Anyway, it's a new year (well, as far as 19 days can be considered new), and as usual I don't know what the fuck is coming up next. I've got plenty of unpaid film work (well, not plenty, but enough to keep me occupied over the first few months of the year), one more semester of study (gotta do a bunch of theory, but Centrelink are finally going to pay me again, so I guess it sort of balances).
Actually, I have a beef with Centrelink (OK, not out of the ordinary) about going back on youth allowance. I am continuing the same course of study, but because the course is only just recently approved for payment, I don't actually receive any money until the semester starts, whereas if I was already getting paid, the money would continue over the holidays. WTF? I've been studying full time for a year with no money and bugger all income (other than occasional cover band gigs and the few times I would be paid a meager amount to be on a film). What am I supposed to do? Get a job for 2 months? OK, fair enough, I could do part-time/casual work that I can scale back when I'm at uni again. I did try to look for work (not particularly hard), but I don't want to be someone who puts aside my aspirations just to earn a god-damn living. Don't tell me I can get a job to save up for stuff I need to do what I want, because so many people fall into the trap of getting stuck in their shitty jobs and lose all motivation to get creative.
So, here's what is potentially cool about this year (now and future):
Just about finished mixing an EP for a band that I recorded a demo song for late last year. They seem to have some interest, which could work to my advantage if they go anywhere and like what I do (which they seem to, and I don't think I'm doing too shabby a job with just the bare essentials at my fingertips). Even if they don't go anywhere, it's something that if I have my name attached to it and someone likes the sounds, they might want to know more about me. I'm hoping this is a good inroad to the studio side of things.
Feature film looking for attachments etc. I had this brought to my attention by the lovely Jules at the Screen Academy (where I currently study, albeit the fact that I should have finished by now), and I've promptly gotten my CV ready to go off. Getting paid (even if it's a reduced rate) to be on a film (one that is being shot up north somewhere) would be an amazing experience. I will do whatever job anyone needs to get on a film set and shmooze away. I can put up with heat.
World's Greatest Shave. This is a big step for me, having been with the hair for about 7 years, and having never really done any charity fundraising before. I really hope to get plenty of support for this, so I can feel good about doing it and throwing a big event at the tav to mark the occasion. Please visit my page and donate some money by credit card, or leave me a message on my facebook/phone/email telling me how much you want to donate, and whether you want to save the hair, or shave it. I have an official receipt book that I can whip out when I get your money so you can claim it on tax. Just make sure you have the money, and that I will be able to see you before the big day (or that you're able to bring money on the day).
So, yeah. Good times, I guess.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Why I'm not a good blogger
So, I stumbled across a friend's blog recently. You know, someone who makes regular entries and talks about stuff that's happening in their lives.
It got me thinking. I wondered how this person can put all of this fairly unedited stuff online for all to read, including people they know who are mentioned in stories etc. This is mainly because I guess I am a fairly personal and neurotic guy. I can't put too fine an opinion or tell a story of something that happened involving friends for fear of ruffling some feathers in a bad way. So I suppose this means I don't like to be offensive to those I know for fear they will no longer converse with me.
Who knows? I doubt that this blog is very popular, or if anybody I know bothers to read it, but if the possibility of treading on toes is there, I suppose I just can't risk it (which is strangely different to my views on art/entertainment).
So yeah, I guess I'm not really doing anything interesting on my blog because I'm lazy, neurotic, and fear rejection. I might as well just write some form of sanitised account of the news as seen by someone looking through a fly-screen with a shotgun and be liked by conservative Americans.
It got me thinking. I wondered how this person can put all of this fairly unedited stuff online for all to read, including people they know who are mentioned in stories etc. This is mainly because I guess I am a fairly personal and neurotic guy. I can't put too fine an opinion or tell a story of something that happened involving friends for fear of ruffling some feathers in a bad way. So I suppose this means I don't like to be offensive to those I know for fear they will no longer converse with me.
Who knows? I doubt that this blog is very popular, or if anybody I know bothers to read it, but if the possibility of treading on toes is there, I suppose I just can't risk it (which is strangely different to my views on art/entertainment).
So yeah, I guess I'm not really doing anything interesting on my blog because I'm lazy, neurotic, and fear rejection. I might as well just write some form of sanitised account of the news as seen by someone looking through a fly-screen with a shotgun and be liked by conservative Americans.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Hot penis sauce
So right now I’m sitting in a hole. I’m being fed fish sauce through a hose. I don’t like fish, but you know what? I’m really enjoying it, and I’ll tell you why:
Energy drinks.
They are horrible, nasty things. I know people see coffee as a bad habit, but at least it can have some class. I’m personally trying to ween myself off energy drinks and onto coffee like a regular member of society.
Of course, regularity isn’t a real thing, just a bar that can be set by anyone and at any level, and at multiple levels at the same time. It’s just more acceptable to have your bar higher than everyone else’s bar than lower, and as much as I’d like to tell everyone to fuck off and then throw my bar into the ocean, I don’t. We get conditioned to have that bar, and even if you don’t want it, you still need it. Sure, you can bend the bar, or chop it up and put parts of it all over the place, as some of the most successful people in history have done, but it’s tethered to you. You can raise it to push yourself, or lower it to justify a mistake to yourself (and maybe others).
Let’s explore what would happen if you were to drop that bar and let it fall as far as it would go. So, you have the bar, but you can’t get rid of it. You can drop it, but it will still be there. All you do is lower your standards of regularity. It’s a society’s way of keeping you in line with it’s ideals and what it views as ‘regular’, because when the bar is dragging along the ground you generally aren’t fitting in, and that doesn’t go down well, so you suffer persecution, prosecution, and general ill will. This goes against our natural drive to survive. To go under the radar, you have to at least set your bar to the same level as everyone else so you don’t stand out.
So, with age comes wisdom, and acceptance that to bring down the machine you have to get in it’s belly, and with more age comes more wisdom and acceptance that you can’t bring down the machine, and with more age comes even more wisdom and acceptance that the machine is, in fact, an OK bloke.
I’m swimming in fishy mediocrity and I’m ready to drown.
Energy drinks.
They are horrible, nasty things. I know people see coffee as a bad habit, but at least it can have some class. I’m personally trying to ween myself off energy drinks and onto coffee like a regular member of society.
Of course, regularity isn’t a real thing, just a bar that can be set by anyone and at any level, and at multiple levels at the same time. It’s just more acceptable to have your bar higher than everyone else’s bar than lower, and as much as I’d like to tell everyone to fuck off and then throw my bar into the ocean, I don’t. We get conditioned to have that bar, and even if you don’t want it, you still need it. Sure, you can bend the bar, or chop it up and put parts of it all over the place, as some of the most successful people in history have done, but it’s tethered to you. You can raise it to push yourself, or lower it to justify a mistake to yourself (and maybe others).
Let’s explore what would happen if you were to drop that bar and let it fall as far as it would go. So, you have the bar, but you can’t get rid of it. You can drop it, but it will still be there. All you do is lower your standards of regularity. It’s a society’s way of keeping you in line with it’s ideals and what it views as ‘regular’, because when the bar is dragging along the ground you generally aren’t fitting in, and that doesn’t go down well, so you suffer persecution, prosecution, and general ill will. This goes against our natural drive to survive. To go under the radar, you have to at least set your bar to the same level as everyone else so you don’t stand out.
So, with age comes wisdom, and acceptance that to bring down the machine you have to get in it’s belly, and with more age comes more wisdom and acceptance that you can’t bring down the machine, and with more age comes even more wisdom and acceptance that the machine is, in fact, an OK bloke.
I’m swimming in fishy mediocrity and I’m ready to drown.
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