Is there anybody in there?

I'm not entirely sure anymore.

So, I guess this is the blog of decision, or at least trying to make them clear to myself.

My cushy ECU job failed hard (I didn't even make it to interview stage - so much for my loyalty).

This means I'm still left with the burning question:
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WHEN I GRADUATE?

Basically, I'm going to need gainful employment because I want to finally get out of home. This probably means getting a shitty job which is totally going to impede on my creative shit (anyone with a shit-kicker film job who wants to employ me is also more than welcome).

On one hand, this lack of experience in the real workforce is an advantage because I can move anywhere in the world and a shit-kicker job is still a shit-kicker job. Of course, the downside is also that a shit-kicker job is a shit-kicker job.

I guess the main thing I am questioning is can I get a job doing something creative, or something that will sustain me enough to fund my creative exploits. On top of that, which is the creative position I am most likely to get somewhere with?

Nobody seems interested in the music I make. Nobody wants to pay for a producer for a band unless they have a label, then they don't want an unknown. Studios don't want engineers because they already have them. Nobody wants an editor with no real experience. Sound recordists need their own gear.

I'm starting to think of switching professions. Just be a dumb-arse freelance camera op. I did it on the recent wireless test videos with Alex with a shitty little handycam and did a good job with that. I actually applied for a freelance camera job, but it was filled before I got in. Quick and the dead.

Otherwise I could join the majority of my friends in becoming aspiring writers, or the rest of my friends who are trying their hands at amateur comedy nights. I watched bits of the Tim Minchin thing on ABC last night. He became a UK-wide phenomenon and he's not really what you call laugh-out-loud funny. Sure, he can be clever with wordplay, but you really just appreciate it subtly more than anything.

This is the one thing that I have never gotten over in the barrier to trying stand-up. What the fuck kind of act would I do? I would love to be a spontaneous comedian like Ross Noble, but I'm not sure I have the chops to just riff off of my own musings and make it continuously funny. I also doubt whether it would seem as funny coming out of my mouth, being an absolute nobody. The thing about Ross Noble is that he now has the reputation, and therefore people seem to laugh in anticipation of what might happen.

I just want something to happen. SOMETHING. I have reached a status quo that has been established over the last year (or maybe two). It may not be your average status quo, but I can see it becoming a trap. I bog myself down in other people's projects for little or no money or recognition, all the while not getting around to my own stuff.

Hopefully I actually make my short film and nothing happens to put it off (people pulling out, me not having time, sudden lack of access to equipment). I think this is only step one, though. This is really about me proving that I've learned something by watching and analysing on film sets over the years. I really want to exploit the new community tv station to get my series made, because I feel that would be the biggest break I could get at this point from the perspective of being taken seriously by the film and tv world. If I have my name as a series creator on something that's been made AND has air time AND isn't shit I would have an edge over many more people than I currently would (nobody). On top of that, I can also then help the people that have helped me. I want to bring karma to the industry.

Unfortunately, I must bide my time, though. My pitch and supporting materials aren't ready yet (or at least I don't think so - I don't actually know what I need to pitch it). Scriptwriting class is going to get the series ready to pitch, and then hopefully the big man John Rapsey can help me wedge my foot in the door.

Actually, a producer attached to it wouldn't hurt. I'm going to get onto this. Someone who can help me convince the station that the show will be cheap (or freeish).

On to work.

Apologies for long post.

Fuckity fuck fuck

Hmm, quite.

So, I have some heavy shit in my head at the moment, but it's probably stuff that's going to stay in my head for a little while.

On top of that, I'm starting to think I'm floundering in my workload, and becoming less motivated to finish stuff I started. New projects become old projects, and then new projects come along and I'm far less motivated to work on the old ones. That's OK, except sometimes those projects aren't mine. Sure, I signed up to work for free and the old adage 'you get what you pay for' applies, but if you agree to work on something and take an enthusiastic approach at the time, people may just put blind faith in your abilities. This means you just have to suck it up and push through despite a lack of interest, because you made it seem like people can count on you.

I suppose what I can say I've learned from this is that there is such a thing as being 'too keen'.

In relation to my last blog, I have mixed emotions about this upcoming job opportunity. Having a steady income is a good thing, but at the same time I am tied to Perth at least for a little while, rather than following life and love over-east.

I suppose this is a lesson in life, and as I mentioned, I am grateful to have life opportunities in multiple places and areas, but decision-making is not exactly my fortè.

Confusion reigns, as always. All I can do is do what I do and dumb it down for the masses.

I'm typing this on a netbook

Am I cool yet?

Today was a fun day utilising free internets in semi-exotic locations.

Also, until I'm finished capturing and organising footage this netbook and free internets stays with me. I feel slightly empowered with this machine on my lap as I sit on the couch with cricket in the background on the tv.

Also, I'm applying for the new vacancy in the WAAPA loans store. Could be an interesting new move in life having a steady job. The main problem is that it ties me down to Perth for a little while. I imagine employing someone in a full-time position generally means you want them there for a little while, whereas my heart belongs with the masses relocating to Melbourne.

I suppose having the option of potentially taking a relatively well paying job or moving east to try and 'make it' (whatever that means) is more than many people have.

We shall see what time dictates.

iJesus 2.0

Hmm. Free cleanskin wine is most certainly doing what it was supposed to do.

Updates + general rants engage...

First news, I won an online film festival and get a free website for 6 months. I suppose it's a kick up the arse to get a page running and maintain it. It also keeps up motivation to continue making films on the side. Who knows, perhaps I can cross to the dark side of directing on a more regular basis? Only time and general consensus will tell.

What else is happening? Various projects are doing stuff with my involvement at various levels. Post sound on Project Bay and Sintillate are to be focused on soon. Got the LINK dance project to start editing on. Alex and I are hitting the streets hopefully on Monday to film some crazy promotion thing for a new company. Not quite sure why I'm shooting it, though.

Also, I'm thinking more about employment. Anyone in Perth or Armadale got casual jobs for me? I'm wondering if I should take out an ad in the west.
WANTED - EMPLOYER:
Poor student seeks employer for casual engagements. Must have flexible work hours and be near public transport for the next 3 months. In the interest of full disclosure, I may have had a run-in with the popo recently that has impeded on my abilities to legally operate a vehicle.

Is this unreasonable?